This Post Has 300 Words
This post is 300 words long. Not one more. Not one less. I was going to leave out commas and contractions as an added gimmick, but didn’t. And it will have sentences that start with “and” and “but.” But that’s never going to not happen. Wait — is a contraction one word or two? (And how far apart are the contractions now?) It seems obvious that a contraction should be one word, doesn’t it? Note that the five title words are not included in the word count. Surely you can tell by now that I’m only fulfilling my contractual Low Blow Pimento obligations, so you should feel free to exit the post immediately. It’s not that I didn’t have anything better for today — although maybe it is that, or I wouldn’t be doing this — or that I’m “running out of steam.” I’m feeling positively ionized by the project. I think it’s going smashingly. There will likely be a whole new book out next month, just for all this flapdoodle. Okay. If you’re still reading, it must be that I’ve gained your trust by now. You know I wouldn’t do something this tedious and indulgent. You hope something amazing is about to happen. And it is! Now that we’ve lost the stationary, non-moving to freedom philistines, I can get to the truth concealed in this lengthy paragraph. (Wait. Is a hyphenated word one word or two? Sorry. That’s a dumb question. Saying “hyphenated word” gives us the answer already.) Oh, no! The WordPress editor has us at 293 words, but I will defer to the “wc” word counting utility as the ultimate authority, and it reports 300 words, so I must stop now. Yet the truth may still be found here, I’m sure, without having to look very hard.