Silencing the Rage
“Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me; in my own perceptions—not outside.”
— Marcus Aurelius
Rage? I don’t think I have much rage inside of me.
Maybe some anger?
For sure there’s frustration and petty irritation and annoyance, roiling beneath the surface, occasionally or maybe frequently bubbling over in unhealthy, unappealing, and unsatisfying ways.
But I know I have it good, in so many ways. I often imagine that I’ll grow old and think about how it all worked out and that I didn’t need to be such a freak about everything.
Sometimes I try practicing acceptance. Calmly accepting things as they are, and not how I wish them to be. So much of my stress and anxiety comes from things that are outside of my control. It feels good to let go, even if only for a few minutes.
But then I start to worry… if I just started accepting things, then what?